My Mom had an appointment with an eye specialist where Matt and Luke go this morning at 9:30. We got up, got the kids fed and dressed, made ourselves presentable (by which I mean it was one of those days where you are borderline hillbilly but can go out in public if it's quick and discreet)! The boys were actually doing quite well during this LONG (almost 2 hour) appt. and we were on the homestretch. We had done all of the exams, waited for dilation and were finally locked in a room with the Doctor. Quick note about the Doctor...mid-30's, giant dork, NOT fond of kids and giant stick in the mud! The natives were starting to get restless when I felt the need to ask "this big, important question". The Doctor began answering the question when the boys lost full control of themselves. Luke was shoving Matt, Matt was flicking Brian's ear and Brian was trying to see how far he could roll off of a chair while kicking Luke and picking Matt's nose...all at the same time. They were all three laughing and having a grand ole time and I quickly did what any Mom would do...I pinched Brian's armpit and whispered to please knock it off. As the Doctor turns his stool to come give me a visual of his big explanation Brian starts sobbing in a very dramatic way "Mommy, you hurt me! Why would you pinch me? Oh Mommy, that was so mean!" I look over and see my mom (whose was now behind the Doctor) burst out laughing! So what did I do? I had a church moment...one where you do something you know is SO wrong but just can't control...I burst out laughing in the Doctor's face! As if this wasn't bad enough I try to regain composure of myself while apologizing to this man who is looking at me like I just walked in from the local trailer park, complete with unruly children and my Mom is babbling away about him not having kids and not understanding when I make a fatal mistake...I make eye contact with my Mom and the whole scene starts all over again! That's right, I burst out laughing in his face a second time!!! At that moment I start grabbing our things and am trying to shove the kids (who are still acting like a bunch of wild animals) out the door when Brian literally stops and says to the Doctor "I'm sorry Doctor, I just can't seem to control myself!" I swear the kid sounded like he regularly sees a therapist and was coached to say this. Where his drama skills come from is beyond me:) I leave my poor Mom trying to save face with this Doctor and am walking towards the nurses station when I see Brian and Luke shoving each other and Brian trying to trip Luke. I reach for the first thing that I can grab...it happened to be Brian's ear...give it a good yank with a quick "knock it off" and he screams for all to hear "Mom, you're gonna rip my ear off!" I hear two office staff and three nurses burst out laughing and shove my kids through the door leading to the lobby. At this point I am visualizing how I am going to kill each and every one of them when I get home when Matt decides to ask in front of the entire waiting room "Mommy, are we gonna get "pankings" when we get home?"
I herded them all into their seats and laughed for a good five minutes as I replied this entire scene in my head! I swear, it's a true miracle I didn't have CPS show up at my car while we were waiting in it for my Mom to come out for the scene we had caused!!! There are days when being a Mom is the most humiliating, frustrating job in the world and I still love every minute of it:) I can now add "professional hillbilly" to my resume, sit back with a giant glass of wine and pray to God that Matt and Luke's next appointments at this office are a long time away!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment